(Written December 2018 in the Sahara Desert of Egypt)

The winds of change are blowing again… sand is not something I can hold on to!

The last time they blew so hard was 2.5 years ago, they came in from the North. Over the course of 2 months they took with them most of the external form of my life back then. My marriage to a man I never stopped loving, the decade long plan I had been working up to, to become a mother, which we were finally actively going for, all of my work and my relationship to my first neo-Tantra teacher who was also a close friend, my would-have been home on a Greek island with a community near by after being without a home for 8 years already. The Winds of Change blew hard during the Solstice of June 2016. They dealt the final blows with the culimination of the first death: the surrender of my personality to soul. What had to be surrendered? That which I held the most sacred, the most dear to me. NO… sand is not something I can hold on to.

This time the Winds of Change have come in across the Sahara Desert!

What is my worst fear as a Soul? The loss of freedom. And not having lived my potential! What’s yours?

I gave my consent in the Sahara Desert to be pierced and penetrated by Spirit.

What do I hold most sacred as a Soul? This starts to shift. The battlecry for Freedom and Truth begin to make way for the word: LOVE. There is no internal struggle. Spirit (monadic energy) simply does what it was given consent to do.

The door to True Power doesn’t open without Real Love!

At the Oracle of Siwa I asked: “what needs to die?”

“Me!” was the answer.

Can I surrender to the cosmic plan and ask to be put in my place? To be shown where I belong, where I am suppose to be? What I’m supppose to do?

Am I willing to offer up that which I hold the most sacred? What’s the price to pay? ME! Me as a soul! Wait… but that’s… EVERYTHING! No… sand is not something I can hold on to!

I gasped. I cried. I put my sword down. I surrendered

The second death, the piercing, the surrender of soul to the will of God/ Spirit/ Life Force/ Dark Light.

Grace me, guide me, show me, I am in service. I bow.


Spirit penetrates my soul, my soul rides this fierce and wise animal body.

This is The Holy Trinity as it lives in me, Here, Now!