Thank you to all who took the time to send your virtual blessings, memories, wishes, pictures, flowers, gifts, hugs, and so much more. All were deeply received and supported me to feel the connections I have woven over the past decades, each of you representing a different thread, a different moment in space and time, part of the same tapestry, this incarnation.
On my birthday I had a “strange feeling” I have not had before. I felt like I have reached the half way mark of my life. Yes, Just like that. Whether that is true chronologically speaking or not, I have no clue (I have not activated that Sidhi yet). It is very realistic that I have lived at least half of my life in this form already. Yet most of it was lived unconsciously. If I zoom into the amount of these 44 completed years which has been lived consciously, and how much LIFE has been lived in THAT time, I am in awe. So if I live another however many, lets say even up to 44 more, consciously, OMG! What a gift!!! Even if it’s one more day… what a gift indeed!
I also felt a sense of maturity. Like finally I have arrived. The kind of arrived that represents: I am here! Finally! Who I really am, where I’m supposed to be, doing what I’m suppose to be doing, in terms of this life time. When I shared this with my beloved Timo Wiren, he reflected back to me how much I have evolved over the past 2 years. All the spaces I have stepped into with love, in the inner and outter worlds, where before I shrank away based on fears. I am grateful to so many of you whom are actively in my life now, who have supported me in infinite ways in the past so that I am here now, and to so many of you I dont even know, for finally having reached this place inside of me.
I received a beautiful gift for my Soul this year: a seranade by those going through an apprenticeship with me right now. I include parts of the lyrics below. The words and the love pierced through me so deeply and kept vibrating through me for 2 full days afterwards, repeatedly bringing me to tears. Clearly, it was time for love to reach somewhere in me I have not let it go yet! And fittingly, Love’s arrow was delivered by a group.
I have been sounding my note over and over and over again, always making it clear that I do so because I want to live in a world of embodied souls. And no matter how many people join my workshops, “like” my FP Page, comment on the videos I make, join the virtual meditations I offer, etc, I was still holding on to the belief that this type of world (of embodied souls) is only something I can imagine, dream about. It’s something in the future, not something now, and it won’t be. That I will keep sounding this note and there will be plenty who will appreciate it, but very few will ever join me to LIVE this way.
So I guess this is partly why I finally offered this apprenticeship. At this “mid-point” of my life, if it is so, it is finally time to let go of this belief that I am alone in this! Because as long as I hold on to it, there is no chance that I can see this world manifest here now.. even though I keep saying that that’s what I want. The existence of this group of 14 beautiful beings willing to dig into their deepest shadows, distortions, wounds, and fear-based personality, in order to clear it and let their soul shine and anchor: IS REALITY! It is manifest. It is flesh and blood and bones and has form here now! It is tangible!
No I am not alone. Yes there are others who want the same and they are not so rare like Oasis in the desert. WE are walking, leaping, tripping and falling and getting back up, jumping, dancing, crawling, flying, tumbling towards freedom and awakening! YES IT’S A FACT!
This is the deepest soul gift I have received in this life so far. I have some karmic wound (or it’s my Cancer rising), around group/ community love. That I don’t fit in, that I don’t know how “to do group/ community”, and that I’m too individual/ too much of a hermit. 3.5 years ago I let Timo Wiren‘s love and acceptance pierce my Soul deeply and support me to open to the fullest Soul shine I’ve got in me. A couple of days ago these set of souls (pictured below) pierced through a deep core belief that was holding my Soul back, and only a group could do it. Only group love could do it. Only group commitment could it. Only a group journeying together (and we have been now for over a month intensely) not based on personality bonding, but based on soul commitment. Only the safety, love and sustained presence of such a group could dissolve this long held belief (maybe for life times), and let me see reality as it is.
It’s an amazing time to be alive indeed!
Super grateful for where I have reached in my evolution… and fully open to the mystery of what’s to come! With deep reverance and humility, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all!
“Imagine all the people
Digging all the way
Imagine there’s no manuals
It isn’t hard to do
No scripts or triggers
And no projections too
Imagine all the people
Living life freely
You can say I’m a digger
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday all will join us
And the world will live as one
Imagine no more fears
I wonder if you can..”