The Enchantress archetype! She corresponds to the Summer time, to the full moon, and to ovulation in a woman’s cycle. This is when planetary energies are the highest and when a woman’s hormones are at their peak. There are long summer days, nature is fully activated, there is heat, and there is passion. In her healthy manifestation the Enchantress is overflowing with her femininity, it is oozing out of her pores. She flirts with life and enchants the world. When a woman resonates with her fullness, stays receptive, open, longs to be penetrated (by life!), enjoys her pleasure, then what she is aligned with comes to her. Then there is no need to manipulate others, try hard to get something, run after it, or play power-games. Life comes into her, through her! Sexual energy is after all life force energy, it is the essence of creation, of manifestation!
The keys to this stage in a woman’s life, to this archetype, to this time during her menstrual cycle, to this time in the lunar calendar, is to own and explore her sexual power and to discover the power of what it means to be a woman. This includes honoring:
– the animal part of ourselves, wild and free.
– our pleasure. That part that wants to pull life in, longs to be penetrated, to be ravished… by life, by a cock, by a sperm ready to conceive a child (its ovulation time after all), by the divine. To enjoy life!
– our desire, cleanly and openly. Owning that I have desire and that it’s mine, whether it is sexual or otherwise. This is a key to manifestation!
– our orgasmic potential and its power. For our own pleasure, for healing, for transformation, for spiritual awakening, and to share with others if we wish!
– our emotional fluidity, unapologetic about having emotions, feeling them, and letting them flow, recognizing their impermanence and the teachings they bare.
– our vulnerability. This is one of the greatest strengths of the feminine. Staying open and receptive.
The shadow side of this archetype includes:
– manipulation and seduction: using power-over games, especially ones that involve sexuality or emotions, to get something we want or to feel powerful.
– bitchiness or rage: blaming, exploding, dumping our emotions on someone else and making it their problem to sort out (literally feels like vomiting – or shitting – on someone else!).
– rigidity and control: holding, suppressing, contraction, tightness, not able to flow, stay open or receive, in all aspects of life, including in our sexuality.
– disconnection from sexuality… emotionally, physically, spiritually.
– lack of sisterhood: competitiveness, jealousy, backstabbing, critical, judgmental, shaming, etc. it’s all a reflection of our internal insecurities, feelings of inferiority and of what is not integrated within us yet.
– slut-shaming: judging other women for the way they express their sexuality. Again, this is a reflection of our internal insecurities, feelings of inferiority and lack of integration of our own sexuality.
– “man hater”: projecting onto men a huge range of things which is a reflection of the wounded feminine and unhealthy masculine within us, and usually masks a deep longing for the healthy masculine.
So… Goddesses… how does the energy of the Enchantress archetype manifest through you? How do you live this time of the month, this time of your life as a woman, this archetype? What is your experience of this energy, healthy and shadow? I would love to hear from you in the comments section below!
And now I share about my experience with this energy. I must admit that this was the hardest archetype for me to integrate. Due to the sexual abuse I had experienced, and other incidents, I carried a lot of wounding in my sexuality and my femininity as I grew into a young woman. I lived many of the things listed on the shadows list. I didn’t want to be seen as sexy, I judged it as superficial (not-deep enough), and I did not want that kind of attention (I had had too much of it since I was a child). And yet, I longed for it! I was rigid and controlling. I disconnected my sexuality from my emotions and from sacredness. I used my sexual power to get what I wanted, to play power-over games with men, and to prove how weak, easily manipulated, untrustworthy, and unreliable they were. I judged other women for their sexuality as fluffy and superficial and shamed them. I was scared that I would loose control, and that I would be too much (coming from the conclusion I made about myself after my father left our family when I was 1). I was contracted.
The truth was… I felt not good enough, not woman enough, not sexy enough, and I was scared. Scared that if I expressed my sexuality openly and freely, something bad would happen to me. That I would be judged (which was exactly what I was doing), that I would be violated (which had already happened), and that I wouldn’t know how to deal with the situation (which was in fact the case).
But of course this energy haunted me, and came out in shadow ways! For the most part I could not have an orgasm unless I fantasized about some porn scene (I wasn’t even in the fantasy). I had relationships with “good guys” that I was not particularly attracted to and I cheated on them having passionate flings with “bad boys” I was attracted to but would never have a relationship with. I enjoyed semi-public sex, secretly wanting to be caught (and shamed), and went to orgies and swing clubs. I felt that the expression of this energy made me bad, needy, superficial, dirty, because I only knew its shadow side. In fact, I was proving that to myself over and over again, unconsciously, because this is what I believed.
It was through the grace of Tantra that I began to heal this place in me, 10 years ago. That was the first thing that attracted me to the Tantric path! The possibility of being able to heal the wounds in my sexuality, and the idea that sexual energy in and of itself can be a healing force, blew my mind completely. I remember having a session with my teacher, in the first workshop I ever did, and telling her all about how my sexuality was so fucked up. She just smiled, she had heard it all before although I thought I was the only one that was so broken and such a mess. The first guidance I ever got? Explore your sexuality like a 5 year old! I had no idea what that meant at the time. I would eventually discover the playfulness, joy, real/ connected pleasure, sacredness, depths, heights, love and the innocence of sexuality!
And so began my journey with Tantra, with my sexuality, and with my femininity. Owning my pleasure and being seen in it was very challenging for me. I healed the wound that translated into the belief that I’m responsible for someone else’s arousal, and therefor should just not be openly sexual. I owned that I longed to be ravished, penetrated, pierced, shattered even, and let go of the control and rigidity. I merged love and sexuality within me. I cannot begin to describe the power of vulnerability, of staying open and soft, and of being seen. I discovered the power of my sexual energy, and its infinite potential, and realized how deep and profound it is, a portal! This is the essence of creation and manifestation!!! I went from only having peak orgasms, usually while using some fantasy, to full body orgasmic waves lasting hours without any penetration or even touch, cervical orgasms lasting a day, breast orgasms, mouth orgasms, and more. I can enjoy my wild side and have attracted a partner who can too (no more “too much”). I can enjoy my sexuality, play with it, have fun with it! And if I can do it, anyone can do it! Needless to say, I now happily celebrate my own and other women’s sexual expression!
Reclaim your Enchantress’s power from the shadows sisters! For your own healing, transformation and expansion, for that of your sisters, and your loved ones… for humanity! When you do so you are helping change the course of history. We have seen how it goes when we don’t do this. The past couple of thousand years is proof enough. Women went from being revered as Goddesses and priestesses to being burned alive, lashed or stoned, owned like property, treated like children or second class citizens, their behavior and dress code regulated over, objectified through pornography and the advertising industry, nullified by gender-neutrality (equal does not mean same!), and silenced or suppressed in so so so many ways! Enough!
I was introducing an orgasmic structure in a week-long woman’s group I led last year, when one of the 40 participants raised her hand and said: “why would I want to do this?” After I repeated the possible benefits she replied: “so what? I don’t care about that.” I reminded her that as with all the other structures she could choose if she participated or not, but if she chose not to participate then to consider the real reason why and to bring loving consciousness to it. A few minutes later she raised her hand again and said: “I have resistance. Actually I’m afraid! What if I become insatiable? What if I want to just have sex with everyone? What if I like it? What if I can’t stop?” I asked the other women in the room to raise their hand if they felt some fear too, resistance, or could resonate with what this participant was sharing. The majority of the hands went up. Sadly, this is the case across the globe, in the 16 countries where I have offered women’s groups, and it sits with younger and older women alike, irrespective of education level or income, it affects most women. The summary of my response: You can hold yourself back, your energy, your desires, your power, that is your choice. But just consider the past 2, 3, 4 thousand years. Look at what happens to humanity when women choose to hold themselves back or are held back. In the long run it doesn’t serve you, and it doesn’t serve humanity. Give yourself permission for the next 1.5 hours to let go and taste your power, your energy. After that, you can always choose to play it small again if you want, but at least let yourself taste that freedom, and your potential, even for just a brief moment!
Yes, it is difficult to go against millennia of repression and conditioning, which is something we all carry in our psyche, through our lineage and in the collective. If we want to live in a world that honors women as awakened, empowered, integrated, and free, we need to honor this in ourselves and in each other! You are sacred! Your body is sacred, your yoni is sacred, your sexuality can be your prayer, the sound of your orgasms your hallelujah, and your power and vulnerability are divine.
And now I leave you with some statements related to this Summer Season of your life, consider how they apply to you:
I know and honor my own boundaries.
I know and honor myself as sacred.
I let go of sexual wounds I carry in my psyche, body, and heart.
I can take care of myself and my sexual needs.
I am not responsible for another’s arousal.
I am responsible for naming and owning my desires.
I am not holding myself back out of fear of someone else’s arousal or judgment.
I can use my sexual energy for my pleasure, I can share it with others if I choose to, and I can use it for healing, expansion and co-creating the life I want to live.
Blessings on your journey sisters!