I ran into a woman the other day I have not seen in years. She asked me what I’m up to and I told her proudly that I have moved to Finland now and have a home. And her response was: “that’s what we do all this work and growth for? So we can sit at home and pay bills?” Obviously she was projecting onto me whatever her triggers are about having a home or having bills… it wasn’t personal.
But it got me thinking! And my answer is: Hell YES! I have journeyed 13 years deep into transforming and expanding so that I can integrate it into my every day life! All the paths I have dove into deeply over this time have taught me to do that, especially Gurdijieff’s 4th Way and Tantra (Neo and Classical). It’s about bringing consciousness, love and the sacred into every day life! Exactly THAT! Not escaping reality, life.
Of course the type of life I choose is different as a result of this journey, yes. I too enjoyed being home free, going to a different country every week, and spending most of the year under the sun somewhere on the planet. I had no residence, no income, paid no taxes, had no bills, no insurance, for most of it also no phone and no bank account. I was certainly not in “the system” and there was no rhythm much less a routine whatsoever to my lifestyle. It may have looked like freedom and even sound like it now as you read this, but none of this made me free! It taught me a lot, yes, but I never confused it for real Freedom!
AND if I can integrate all I’ve learned into ordinary living, into day in and day out with my husband, into relating with my mother and my husband’s children… Then I know I have really integrated it into my being. It’s easy to “live” a certain way in a group room or in a community of like hearted folks. But that doesn’t test me. Suburbia does. Trump does. Going to the mall to buy things for the house does.
And while I write all this out from a beach front house on a Thai island, here to study more classical Tantra, the truth is I’m absolutely blessed to have an extra-ordinary life while also doing very ordinary things! THAT folks is gold!!! And I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
I live in a temple, inside and out!
I run from nothing, inside and out!
I chase after nothing, inside and out!
… And THAT folks, to me… is Freedom!!!!
And it’s from that space of freedom that I make my choices of how to live my life. That’s my living room by the way.
What did the zen master do once he became enlightened? He continued to chop wood and fetch water… But from a very different place inside! (Note: No, I am not claiming to be Enlightened)
From what place inside are you making your choices for how to live your life?